I’ve been putting off writing this post because, Friend, I’m ashamed. Not only did I not make the deadline for submission of draft 2 of Love in Bloom, I’ve blown past the deadline for draft 3, and I still haven’t submitted draft 2.
I was struggling with the second draft because (as discussed in my last post) I hated my female protag. The rewrites I managed did go a long way to making her less pathetic and I do feel less eye-gougy when I read back over her scenes, but I was nowhere near done when I hit two snags in quick succession.
First, I had a major depressive episode. I’ve had mental health issues for most of my life – at least three decades, anyway. I live with a certain background level of suicidal ideation and magical thinking. Sometimes that becomes more foreground than background, but I’ve learned to be mostly okay. I mostly cope, and work around things.
This time that wasn’t possible. It was as if someone had turned all the volume knobs in my head up to max and I couldn’t hear myself anymore. Thankfully, Mr Sage is really good at knowing exactly what I need at any given time, and I made it through without doing anything regretable.
Then things went haywire at the day job and work has had to take up a good chunk more of my time than usual. It’s a temporary situation that should be getting back to normal very soon but in the meantime I’m struggling to get my writing in before work and I’m completely fried by the time I get home. I am still doing other productivity/creativity things, but not so much on the writing/rewriting.
I probably have another week or ten days’ worth of work on this draft if I can work at my normal pace, so hopefully I’ll be done soon. I’ve discussed this all with my publisher, who is entirely lovely and is not putting any additional pressure on me. The good thing is that this little “forced” break has given me room to subconciously mull over the story, and I think it’s going to be so much the better for it. I think the universe is trying to tell me that the “take a break before you edit” is not a suggestion.
That’s about all for Kaye Bellingan at the moment. More news soon (I hope)!